Finding Balance

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of person. I think that’s part of why I’m straightedge. Because if I wasn’t, I would be a drug-addict, alcoholic (I would never smoke because of my grandmother dying from lung cancer). I cannot do anything in moderation. I was anorexic for many years, and now I just binge eat. I go back and forth between extremes in my actions and my feelings. I’m either too much or not enough and I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t find my balance. I’ve never been good at balancing and I really don’t know how to correct it. I try meditating on it to figure it out but I haven’t been very successful. So I just stay bouncing from too much and not enough when I think it’s fit not even considering how other people might feel. I guess, I can’t really win at this.

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